The Unpredictable Game Show
by Brainiac5
Summary: Prepare yourself for the unpredictable game show- a unique show that changes hosts, rules and contestants every episode! Xovers of movies, books, cartoons, manga, anime, etc... R&R please!
1. The Unpredictable Game Show

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"Welcome to _The Unpredictable Game Show_! The game show where the rules, hosts and the way you play change every time!!" The overly cheerful announcer, Mumbo Jumbo (A bumbling magician villain from Teen Titans) announced gaily, announcer role in full swing.

Before him at one of two counter-type contestant stands stood Genin Cell 7 of Konoha- Hatake Kakashi- Jonin (Elite ninja), Uchiha Sasuke, Uzumaki Naruto, and Haruno Sakura, Kakashi's Genin (Junior ninja) students. As Mumbo hummed to himself, twirling his wand, the four ninja examined their surroundings.

Finally, Sakura turned on Mumbo. "Who are you?" She demanded angrily.

"I am…" Mumbo twirled flamboyantly for dramatic effect, "MUMBO JUMBO!!!"

"What does that mean?" Sakura snapped. "That isn't your name, is it?"

"Yes. My name is Mumbo Jumbo, and in Magicianarestophileze, the language of magicians, it means…" Mumbo took in a deep breath and proudly declared, "SUPREME MASTER OF THE UNIVERSE!!!"

"Yeah right," Sasuke grumped.

"Hey, Hey, Master!!!" Naruto yelled. "When do we get ramen?"

"Ramen? Ramen, you say!?" Mumbo stroked his chin. "Well…mumbo jumbo!!!" And Sasuke's head turned into ramen.

Sakura screamed and fainted. Kakashi glanced at Sasuke, down at Sakura and shrugged. She'd get over it. So would Sasuke.

Naruto looked sick. "If that wasn't Sasuke's head, I would eat it."

Kakashi shook his head, trying to decide whether to laugh, be angry or just read his book. "Why are we here?" He asked Mumbo.

"Why do you think? To play…" Mumbo glanced out at the audience, "The _unpredictable game show!!"_

The audience cheered, as audiences will do.

"S-s-saaaaasuke!!" Sakura murmured, waking up. She glanced down at him and shrieked, rocking back and forth on her heels, hands pressed to her heart.

"The poor child looks faint!" Mumbo cried, "What have you been feeding her……" Mumbo frowned. "You there, with the white hair!"

"Eh?" Kakashi glanced up from the latest book in the Make-out series, 'Make-out Tactics'.

"What have you been feeding her!?"

Kakashi shrugged.

"Was it bad judgment on the master's part? Or… was it sabotage, from… the competition!?" Mumbo cried, waving his wand dramatically. "Mumbo jumbo!"

In a puff of overly-dramatic smoke, four figures appeared.

All four were dressed like ninja, but much like Cell 7, each one had a rather distinct style, though each had full-body suits, and the first two had full-face masks. The first wore a white outfit with red trim and a red dragon prowling on his back, the second black _everywhere_, even having silver eyepieces that covered his baby blues. The third had a blue and yellow outfit and was looking back and forth. His was brown. Like Sakura, the fourth ninja was the only Female of the group. She also wore Blue and Yellow, with long brown hair tied back.

She frowned. "Where are we?"

Mumbo smiled grandly. "the _Unpredictable Game show!_ You contestants have been selected to compete against these formidable opponents!"

The ninja in white frowned. "Why does that one in the middle have noodles for a head?"

Mumbo glanced at Sasuke and waved a hand. "That isn't important, but for formality's sake… mumbo jumbo!"

And Sasuke's head was returned to it's normal form.

Sakura fainted again, this time in relief.

"Okay, Mr. Freaky suit, why are we here?" The other female ninja demanded, "And how come those people have nametags and we don't!?"

"Ah, yes- wait, you don't? Mumbo jumbo!" Mumbo once again gestured dramatically.

The girl glanced down and grinned at her nametag reading 'Jinx'.

The brown-haired guy glanced down at the name 'Kamakura' printed on his tag and punched the air in a gesture of excitement.

The black ninja glanced down at his nametag reading 'Snake Eyes' and nodded.

The white ninja sighed as he saw his. "Only 'Storm Shadow'? I was hoping for 'the most beautiful man this side of heaven'," he said, sarcasm obvious in his tone.

"That title would be reserved for me," Mumbo interjected. "And now… Round ONE!!"

The audience cheered.

Mumbo bowed dramatically, then turned to the contestants. "All right. In round one, all contestants will be required to answer a question correctly, no second guessing and no sputtering. If you fail to answer the question, you shall be forced to take part in a _penalty_, and will have to answer another question. Does everyone understand?"

Both sides nodded.

"Good. You there, do a jumping jack!" Mumbo pointed to Sasuke.

"What?" He asked.

"No, silly, I'm the one asking the question!" Mumbo shot back. "Do a jumping jack!"

"Um, Okay," Sasuke muttered and did a jumping jack.

"That's correct!" Mumbo cried, waving his arms and grinning at the audience. "Didn't he do a great job? Give him a hand!"

A giant glove fell from the ceiling and landed on the Genin.

"Thank you," Mumbo said to the ceiling, and turned to Storm Shadow, the white-and-red ninja. "You there," He said, "What is the square root of nothing?"

"Neither positive nor negative," Storm Shadow replied calmly.

"Correct!" Mumbo cried. "That's amazing! I thought I'd stumped you!" He turned back to Cell 7.

"What kind of answer was that?" Sakura demanded. "He didn't actually answer the question!"

"But he did. And he didn't stutter, or second-guess himself. So he must be right…" Mumbo sighed. "I don't know the square root of nothing, so I'll just take his word for it."

"This is stupid!" Sakura snorted.

"Not stupid, _Unpredictable!_" Mumbo replied. "And it's time for your question. How many ostriches does it take to cross the Gobi desert?"

"As many as you need," Sakura replied smugly.

"That's incorrect, I'm sorry." Mumbo said. " the correct answer is: none! They'd all hide from you! But look on the bright side, I get to give you a _penalty!_"

Sakura blinked. "How is that the bright side?"

"I get to have fun!" Mumbo replied, stoking his chin. "As for the penalty…I believe I will make you jump off of London bridge before it collapses."

Sakura blinked. "What!?"

"You're right, You're right, that's too easy." Mumbo nodded. "How about…" He glanced up with an evil smile. "The _GATE OF DOOM!!!!_" He stepped forward and led Sakura to a small archway. "Now," he said, "if you have the courage to step through the gate of doom, you can get back to your team. If you choose not to, you will fail and be sent home… immediately."

_This is a test of the strength of my love for Sasuke!_ Sakura thought. _I have to do this!_ And she bravely stepped through the archway.

Nothing happened. She frowned, and looked around in surprise. "Huh?" She said. "That's it?"

Mumbo nodded absently. "We haven't installed the tarantulas, rattlesnakes or mosquitoes yet. Good job. Get back to your team."

Sakura shrugged and walked back to her place.

"Next question goes once again to Sakura!" Mumbo cried. "Now, my dear," He said, "At what speed do you exit the actual time stream?"

"I don't know." Sakura said.

"That's correct!" Mumbo cried. "I don't know either. Good job!" He turned to Jinx. "And, my darling, how about you?"

"What about me?" Jinx demanded.

"Why do you wear your hair like that?" Mumbo asked.

"Because it looks good and keeps it out of my face," Jinx replied.

"Precisely," Mumbo said. "It makes you look dashing."

"Why, thank you," Jinx said.

"All right, on to the spiky little munchkin," Mumbo said, glancing at Naruto.

"What-!?" Naruto yelled. "Wait, a minute-!"

"We don't have a minute!! Tell me quickly, which way is the bathroom!?" Mumbo cried.

"That way," Naruto said, pointing off to the right.

"I hope you're right," Mumbo ejaculated, dashing offstage.

Kakashi sniggered at something in his book. Snake Eyes shuffled and glanced at his nametag, carefully straightening it slightly. Storm Shadow looked up at the ceiling while Sasuke finally pulled himself out from under the giant glove.

The sound of a Toilet flushing was heard and Mumbo ran back onstage with a bit of toilet paper stuck to his right foot. "You're correct," He cried dramatically, turning to Naruto. "Well done." glancing at Kamakura with a sinister-ish grin, he twirls dramatically and points his wand at the brown-haired young man. "Now, my boy," He says, "What is another way to say pie?"

"3.14159," Kamakura answered smugly.

"Ooh! Impressive! I didn't know it had a mathematical formula!" Mumbo cried. He turned to Kakashi. "Now then, good sir- why do you have white hair?"

"Born with it," Kakashi said simply still reading.

"All right, now for the question," Mumbo said.

"That wasn't the question?" Sakura asked.

"No. I was just curious," Mumbo replied. "Now, Kakashi… when were you born?"

"Before Sakura," Kakashi replied.

"Interesting," Mumbo said, stroking his chin. "Oh yes, I need to actually ask you a question, don't I?"

"You've asked him two!!" Sakura snapped.

"But he's just so curious!" Mumbo replied. "Kakashi, why does your name mean scarecrow?"

"Better that than potato," Kakashi replied. "Scarecrows have class."

"Ooh, you're just full of interesting answers! What's that book you're reading?"

Kakashi glanced up. "What, this thing? Make-out Paradise series. Book three."

"How incredible! Not a single stutter! Amazing!" Mumbo marveled. "What is two plus two?"

"Four." Kakashi mumbled, already back to reading.

"Eight times seven?"

"Fifty-six."

"The square root of nothing?"

"Neither positive nor negative." Kakashi said, then sniggered at a part in his book.

"Wow. This guy's good," Mumbo whispered to the audience. "Do you want to be host next week?" He asked Kakashi.

The Jonin shrugged.

"Great. I need to head off to Tijuana right after this anyway," Mumbo said. "I'll put a good word in for you with the producer."

He turned to Snake Eyes. "Can you run in circles?"

Snake Eyes nodded.

"Great, so can I!" He twirled in a circle and cackled. "Well, this wraps up round one, see you all again someday!" Mumbo glanced at the clock, frowned and waved his wand. "Mumbo jumbo!!" He grinned as the hands moved forward a half-hour. "We're out of time! For anyone just tuning in, this has been the _Unpredictable Game Show,_ where the rules and hosts change every time! I'm Mumbo Jumbo, saying … goodnight!" He waved at the camera, winked, and waved his wand. "Mumbo jumbo!" He cried, and disappeared in a cloud of smoke. The audience cheered.

The lights dimmed and the Audience left while the contestants stood staring at each other. "So, um… how do we get home?" Naruto asked as the lights flicked off and they were left in utter darkness. He heard a few little phwif sounds, like a poof of smoke, but thought nothing of them. "Hello? Guys? How do we get home? _Guys!?_" He shouted. And then, with a flash of smoke, he was gone as well.

* * *

MY DISCLAIMER/Author Notes:

I don't own any of the characters that will ever appear anywhere in this thing and they might at times be slightly OOC, please don't be too hard on me- it takes awhile to get so many personalities straight. All that to say...I'm not perfect. I'm co-authoring this with Nebula 25, we tend to brainstorm together. Actually, my two main brainstormers are Nebula 25 and Asterisk78... though sometimes neither wish to be affiliated with me- I get hyper when I think too long.

Like now... Anyway, stay tuned!


	2. The Good, The Bad, and the Goofy

The lights flicked on and the dramatic theme music played as the host stepped onstage. "Yo," the host mumbled, quite a contrast to last week's episode. "Okay, so apparently I'm the host this week. Welcome to '_The good, The Bad and the Goofy_,' formerly '_The Unpredictable Game Show'_. the Contestants are…" Kakashi glanced around. "…Not here." Glancing down at a little white card he was holding, he shrugged. "Okay, so I'm supposed to say 'mumbo jumbo'." He glanced around and shrugged again. "Mumbo jumbo."

Immediately in a cloud of smoke, both contestant booths were filled. On one side stood Eragon, Leia, Han, Obi-wan, C3PO, Chewbacca and R2D2. On the other side Luke, Arya, Murtagh, Brom, Angela, Saphira, and Thorn.

"Something doesn't look quite right," Kakashi muttered. "Mumbo jumbo." In a cloud of smoke, Luke and Eragon changed places. "Great. Well, welcome to _The Good, the Bad and the Goofy_, I guess." Kakashi said to the Audience, which cheered appreciatively. He turned to the contestants. "What's going to happen is I'm going to tell you to do something. Your team, in turn, must decide if it's good, bad, or goofy. If you guess right, you still have to do it. If you get it wrong, you have to do it and your team must also choose to send one member to the 'General Vicinity of re-Education and Reform'."

"What kind of option is that?" Eragon yelled.

"The game show option. Now be quiet. Or would you rather all of you play this in your underwear?"

Eragon shut up, and quickly, especially since half the time it seems fantasy and Sci-fi characters don't wear underclothes.

Kakashi sighed. "All right, let's get started. Eragon, go run a mile in flip-flops."

His team immediately began to discuss whether that was bad, or just goofy. Finally, Arya glanced at Kakashi. "We're ready to answer."

Kakashi shrugged. "Good, Bad or Goofy?"

"Goofy."

"You're wrong. The correct answer is good- It's training for unstable ground and it hardens your feet. I make my students do it all the time. Pick someone to go to the General Vicinity of Re-Education and Reform from your team." He turned and glared at Eragon. "Why aren't you running?"

"A-ba-buh…" Eragon said, still shocked that they had already lost a player.

"Never mind. I've decided you're the one who needs to go to the General Vicinity of Re-Education and Reform." With his foot, Kakashi pressed a button on the floor and a trapdoor opened up below Eragon. He fell with a shriek into whatever was below.

"Now then, Luke Skywalker."

"Yes?" Luke asked.

"I want you to swallow your lightsaber. Use the force if you have to."

"That's bad," Han said. "How's he supposed to use it after that? And what happens when it tries to come out the other end?"

"Good point," Kakashi said. "I was going to say it was good, because it amused me, but you've won me over. Send someone to the General Vicinity of Re-Education and Reform and Luke doesn't have to swallow his lightsaber."

"I vote we send C3PO. All he ever does is complain anyway." Han said.

"What if you need me to translate something?" C3PO cried.

"Why don't we just send this walking carpet? All he ever does is growl and stink," Leia said, gesturing at Chewbacca.

Chewbacca muttered something at her, but everyone ignored the Wookie.

"I vote we boot the princess," Han shot back. "She's more obnoxious than threepio."

"Why, I never!" C3PO gasped.

"Never mind, send the droid," Han said. "His voice is grating on my last nerve."

"But…What if you need me to translate something?"

"Nice excuse, _not. _You used it last time, and it still doesn't work. Bye-bye," Han said.

Kakashi opened another trapdoor and Han fell down, shouting 'What!?'. "Oops," Kakashi muttered, "Wrong trapdoor. Oh well." He turned to Arya. "I want you to weigh this pound of feathers," He said, handing her a large sack full of feathers.

"_That's goofy_," Thorn said to Murtagh. "_Don't you agree?"_

"He just said it was a pound, so why would we weigh it?" Angela said at the same time.

"And you're just going to blindly trust whatever he says? It's good to weigh that 'pound' of feathers- even if for no other reason than to see whether or not he's a liar," Murtagh said.

"I agree," Brom said.

"You're right," Kakashi said. "But you still have to weigh the feathers," He told Arya, handing the sack to her. "Go find a scale." Arya frowned. "You don't have one?"

"No. Some guy just handed me these. Ask _him_ where the scale is. I'm busy hosting here." Kakashi waved an irritated hand in her direction.

"But where is he?"

"You know what? You're getting too annoying. You need to go to the General Vicinity of Re-Education and Reform," Kakashi said, opening a trapdoor.

As she fell, Arya snarled in his direction, "You _will_ pay for this!!"

Kakashi sighed. "Some people. They just can't think for themselves." He turned and scratched his head. "Where was I…? Oh yes, Leia." He turned to the Princess and raised an eyebrow. "Know anything about juggling?"

"No, I don't," Leia replied.

"Good. I want you to juggle three rotten eggs," Kakashi said.

"Uh-oh," Luke muttered. "That's bad."

Obi-wan nodded in agreement as Chewbacca moaned and covered his nose.

Kakashi frowned. "Do it in the little room behind you though, I don't want this place to stink." He handed her three eggs. "Have fun." He glanced at her team. "You're right, that's definitely not a good idea. Nor is it in any way goofy. It's just nasty." Kakashi pulled out a book and glanced at it. He sniggered after a moment.

"Ahem," Murtagh said.

Kakashi didn't glance up. "I want you to scream like a little girl."

"What?" Murtagh snapped. "I don't scream."

Kakashi glanced up from his book with a fierce look in his eye. "You do now," He snarled.

Murtagh shook his head.

"Then it's an automatic double loss for you- you go away," Kakashi opened up a trapdoor, "And so does your lovable little dragon." and another trapdoor opened. Kakashi smiled his evil grin and waved. "Bye-bye." He turned to the other side. "Now then, You there, the fuzzy one."

Chewbacca moaned.

"Yeah, you. I want you to do the chicken dance."

"That's goofy," Luke said.

"Precisely," Kakashi replied. "Very good."

Chewbacca was already dancing, so Kakashi turned to Saphira.

"I want you to sing the 'spoonful of sugar' song from the Disney Movie 'Mary Poppins'."

Saphira blinked.

"Well?"

Saphira blinked again.

Brom sighed. "She's singing it in my head."

"Well, sing it in mine," Kakashi said.

"She can't," Brom said.

"Too bad for her," Kakashi said. "It's the General Vicinity of Re-Education and Reform for her!"

And Saphira plummeted through a trapdoor.

Kakashi sighed. "Some people just don't know when to stop with the hokey business. At least you haven't been calling on your so-called 'force'. " He turned around and winked at Luke. "Right?"

"Um, yeah?" Luke said uncertainly.

Kakashi nodded absently, pulled out his book then glanced up. "Where was I…? Oh yes, the old coot."

"You can't call him an old coot! He's a Jedi master!" Luke cried.

"Yes I can, I'm the host." Kakashi turned to Obi-Wan. "You must dance the night away in the middle of the floor to invisible music."

Obi-Wan waved his hand in Kakashi's direction. "You don't need me to do that, that's goofy."

"Actually, I don't need you to do that," Kakashi said. "And you're right, that is goofy."

"You want to dance the night away," Obi-wan said.

"I want to dance the night away," Kakashi said.

"We win the game," Obi-wan continued.

"You won! Congratulations! Join us next time on The Good, the Bad and the Goofy, Formerly the Unpredictable game show! Good night! I have to go home and _dance!!_" and Kakashi disappeared in a cloud of smoke.

Luke grinned. "Good one, master."

Obi-wan smiled. "There are times when being a Jedi is terrible, and times when it is great fun- this was great fun." And the lights dimmed.


	3. False or Falser

Once again, the lights went up and the dramatic theme music blared, threatening to knock down all the walls. The host walked up to his place, turned to the audience and grinned. "Greetings," He said. "My name is Luke Skywalker, and I will be the host tonight for False or Falser, formerly The Good, the Bad and the Goofy, formerly The Unpredictable Game Show."

As usual, the audience cheered excitedly.

"Our contestants today are, on the right," Luke waved his hand and the group appeared in a poof of smoke, " The Ouran High School Host Club."

The audience cheered again.

Tamaki Suou bowed in acknowledgement as Kyoya gently pushed his glasses up. Hikaru and Kaoru glanced around suspiciously while Hunny looked for the piece of cake he'd been eating seconds prior to being transported here. Mori, as usual, stood silent. Haruhi looked slightly confused, and glancing at Kyoya, she wondered if he'd been the one who'd scheduled this.

"And," Luke continued, "On the left, the Legion of Super Heroes… er, well, some of them anyway," He amended, once again waving his hand.

In yet another poof of smoke, Superman, Brainiac 5, Lightning Lad, Bouncing Boy, Triplicate Girl, Timberwolf and Saturn girl glanced around, concerned.

"What just happened?" Superman asked.

"Unknown," Brainiac 5 answered.

"Um, you're welcomed to False or Falser, formerly The Good, the Bad and the Goofy, which was Formerly the Unpredictable Game Show. I'm your host, Luke Skywalker." Luke glanced at both sides. "Are you ready to hear the rules of the game?" When no one answered, he grinned. "Good."

"We're in a game show?" Hikaru demanded suddenly. "When did this happen? Kyoya!" He glanced accusingly at the youngest Ootori.

Kyoya blinked. "This wasn't my doing," He said coldly, glaring at Hikaru.

Tamaki glanced around. "Ah! So these are the games that commoners play to get money? Fascinating!"

Haruhi sighed.

"Um, who are these people?" Superman asked.

"Good question," Lightning Lad replied.

Tamaki brightened at the aspect of introducing the Host club. "I'm Suou Tamaki, this is Ootori Kyoya, Morinozuka Takashi, Haninozuka Mitsukuni, the Hitachiin twins Hikaru and Kaoru, and Fujioka Haruhi." He smiled grandly. "And who are you?"

Bouncing Boy spoke up. "I'm Bouncing boy, that's Superman, Brainiac 5, Lightning Lad, Triplicate Girl, Timberwolf and Saturn Girl."

"Why is that one green?" Hikaru and Kaoru asked simultaneously, pointing to Brainy.

"Is it really that important?" Brainiac 5 asked.

"No," the Hitachiin twins said. "We just think it would be interesting to find out how you have green skin with blonde hair. Shouldn't your hair be green?"

Brainy ignored them and turned to the Host. "What are the rules?" He asked Luke, who had been standing off to the side observing the exchange with a bemused smile.

"Ah, yes," Luke said, "Back to the subject. The rules are as follows. I will tell you two untruths about the other team- you decide which untruth is less true."

"So it's a game to see which lie is more lie-like?" Hikaru asked. "How are we going to know?"

"That's just it- you get to guess." He glanced at Saturn girl. "No reading minds, or you've got an instant penalty. "

"What's the penalty?" Superman asked.

"I don't know," Luke said, "Maybe I'll be nice and just sent you to a galaxy far, far away."

"Oh, ha. Nice joke," Hikaru snorted.

"No, really," Luke said calmly. "I'm very capable of doing so."

"That's not the joke part, it's… never mind," Kaoru muttered.

Luke nodded absently. "Yes, well, Legion of Superheroes, you go first. Your entire team confers on which false is falser. Are you ready for the question?"

The superheroes nodded.

"All right then, Tamaki Suou is half German…or, Kyoya Ootori is the first son."

The Host club exchanged glances. "I don't even know which one would be considered falser," Haruhi said after a moment.

Brainiac 5 stared at Kyoya and Tamaki for a moment, then quickly turned to the team. "The phrase 'Kyoya Ootori is the first son' is falser," He said simply.

The team exchanged glances. "And your reason?" Superman finally asked.

"It's logical," Brainy said. "It's obvious that Suou san has European blood in him, and Ootori san's face twitched slightly in an emotional response to the allegation that he was a first son."

"What's with the whole 'san' thing?" Lightning Lad asked after a moment.

"It's an honorific the Japanese use. I trust it was satisfactory?" Brainy turned to the Host club, who nodded.

"You're absolutely correct," Luke said, "Tamaki is half French, but Kyoya is a _third_ son."

"Oh, this makes absolute sense… not!!" Hikaru snapped. "What's the difference?"

"Degrees of falseness," Luke replied. "There is one degree of falseness in saying Tamaki is part German, you need only say he's actually French. However, with Kyoya, there is another brother between himself and the first son, so there are _two_ degrees of difference. Get it?"

"No," The Hitachiin twins said simultaneously.

"I don't really either," Luke said. "You'll figure it out as we go along." Then, turning to the Host club, he eyed Tamaki warily and said, "False or falser-- Brainiac 5's Ancestor was a superhero, or Superman is from the Thirty-first century."

Brainiac5 and Superman exchanged confused glances. Superman shrugged helplessly. "I'm glad we aren't answering this one," Superman muttered.

Kyoya eyed the two carefully, then turned to the Host club. "Brainic 5's ancestor was a villain," He said simply. "But Superman is from the Twentieth century… I believe."

"So, what's our answer?!" Hikaru demanded irritably.

"The first allegation was falser," Kyoya said to Luke, "Because the first allegation implied more than just a change of time, but a change of motives and morals."

Luke nodded. "Very good. But how did you know those things about BRianiac5 and Superman?"

Kyoya glanced away momentarily. "I've had some experience with American comics-- they're easy to read and a… fun way to learn English," He admitted.

"Did you just say fun?" Hikaru demanded in amazement.

"Amusing, then," Kyoya replied with an icy glare.

"Back to the Legion!" Luke interrupted. "False or falser-- Hikaru is younger than Kaoru, or… Tamaki is his Grandmother's favorite grandchild!"

Hikaru, Kaoru and Tamaki exchanged glances and a shrug.

Brainiac 5 frowned. "I believe--"

"Sorry, this is a penalty round. You're not allowed to give an opinion," Luke said, slapping a strip of duct tape over Brainy's mouth. Glancing at the Audience, Luke grinned. "I'm starting to like this job," He said.

The Audience cheered and clapped appreciatively.

Superman frowned. "Now what?"

"I think the first one was falser," Lightning Lad said. "I mean, Tamaki's good looking-- how could his grandmother _not_ like him?"

"I don't think…" Triplicate girl began, but Lightning Lad cut her off.

"That's our answer," He told Luke, ignoring the look of desperation along with the emphatic head-shaking Brainiac 5 was doing to get his attention.

Luke ignored the wrong answer and turned to the host club and slapped a piece of duct tape over Kyoya's mouth. "All right," he said, "Now then, False or Falser-- Triplicate girl cane make any item triplicate itself, or… Bouncing boy has a pogo stick he uses to bounce everywhere."

Hikaru and Kaoru exchanged glances. Tamaki opened his mouth, and Hikaru slapped a hand over it. "Shut up, Milord," He said. "We don't need your useless babble to make the decision more complicated."

"Triplicate girl making things tripled isn't as false, so Bouncing Boy's pogo stick is falser," Haruhi said after a moment.

Luke nodded. "What's your reason?"

"He couldn't fit on a pogo stick," Haruhi said bluntly. "And why would he need a pogo stick to go everywhere?"

"That's a pretty decent answer," Luke said. "Okay… Um… Well, I'd love to continue, but I promised Han I'd be back early, and we're almost out of time, so I'll just…" He reached out with the force and ripped the duct tape off of Kyoya's and Brainiac 5's mouths, then waved as Kyoya slapped a hand over his mouth, shooting a disgusted glare in Luke's direction.

"May the force be with you," Hikaru snorted.

"And also with you," Luke replied, serious.

The audience disappeared almost instantaneously, and the lights flickered off. Then, within seconds, the contestants were whisked back to the world they'd come from…

A/N: Haha! Next week will be hosted by an unknown person(s) from this episode -(Kyoya)- with the Teen Titans and Howl's moving castle (the anime) cast! yay! Anyway, you have to wait until next episode until you find out the name/rules of the game. But, as Kyoya's the host... you know it's going to be painful...


	4. The Truth Hurts

By now you can probably guess what happened-- the lights went up, the theme music blared and the audience cheered. The host for this week strolled onto the stage, glanced at his cue cards then flashed a disarming smile at the crowd.

"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen," he said, "And welcome to 'The Truth Hurts', formerly 'False or Falser', which was formerly 'The Good, The Bad, and The Goofy', originally The Unpredictable Game Show. I'm your host, Ootori Kyouya, and let's welcome our guests to the show, shall we?" This suggestion was met with enthusiastic applause, and Kyouya raised an eyebrow. "Mumbo Jumbo," he said, and with a poof of smoke, two teams appeared in the contestant boxes.

On one side, five heroes blinked anxiously. Robin, Starfire, Beast Boy, Cyborg and Raven each stared in confusion at the handsome, bespectacled young man before them. "Where are we?" Robin finally demanded.

"You're exactly where you're supposed to be," Kyouya replied calmly. "Welcome," he said disarmingly, his mouth turning up in a bit of a smile.

Starfire and Raven hadn't looked this enthralled since the time they'd first met Aqualad.

"So what are we doing here?" Robin demanded angrily, wishing Star would snap out of it.

"You're in an alternate dimension to play in a game show," Kyouya answered smoothly.

"Why?" Robin growled.

"Because you are," Kyouya answered. "I didn't ask to host any more than you asked to compete, so let's try and be reasonable," he 'suggested', giving the Titan his famous 'demon lord' glare.

Robin drew back. "Sure," He murmured weakly.

"Now then, Sophie, Howl, Michael, Calcifer, Lettie… welcome," he smiled.

"What are we supposed to do?" Howl asked.

"It's quite simple, really," Kyouya answered. "I give you a true or false question about yourself, or a member of your team. You may answer true or false, but it you answer truthfully, you receive a punishment."

"What?!" Robin cried. "Why?!"

"Sometimes, the Truth Hurts," Kyouya answered. "Now please stop pestering. I've explained the rules, and Howl's up first."

"I am?" Howl asked.

"Yes. Now then, True or False-- Sophie has never gone crazy with weed killer."

"True," Howl answered.

"What?!" Sophie cried. "But I have!"

"Ah, but he didn't answer truthfully, and that was the point," Kyouya said appreciatively. "You catch on fast," He complimented Howl. "Now then, Robin."

"What?" Robin grumbled.

"You and Starfire are _just friends_. True or False?"

"True. No, False, no, wait…"

Kyouya smirked. "Double answers are not permitted." And then a trapdoor opened beneath Robin's feet.

"Aaaaugh!" He cried, falling.

"Sophie, you're next," Kyouya said.

"I'm not sure I want to compete," she said crossly. "This is very stressful for an old woman like myself."

"Ah yes, you are very old… but is that true or false?" Kyouya smirked.

Sophie frowned, talking to herself. "Well, I suppose on the outside I'm rather old, but inside I'm… but then, if that's false am I supposed to answer true? Oh, bother." She turned on Kyouya. "Don't confuse an old woman!" She bellowed.

"She might bring out the weed killer," Howl mumbled.

"Oh, you're one to talk, you and your green slime!" Sophie howled.

"I'll take that answer as 'true', which is actually false, which means you're correct," Kyouya interrupted.

"I think I lost you back at the answer part," Beast Boy mumbled.

"Aw, shaddup," Calcifer snorted.

"As long as I got the question right, who cares about you?" Sophie demanded irritably, glaring at both of them.

Kyouya cleared his throat. "Starfire, it's your turn," he said, politely ignoring the glazed look in her eyes as she ogled in his direction. "True or False-- Beast Boy is a Clorbag Barblarnelk."

Starfire frowned. "True," she finally answered.

"What?" Beast Boy screeched.

"Since you answered true and we both know it's false, you're correct," Kyouya said.

"My brain hurts!" Beast Boy wailed.

"I'm sorry. Should I call the medics?" Kyouya asked, clearly sarcastic.

"What do we need medics for?" Raven asked.

"In case someone is mortally wounded because of the punishments," Kyouya answered, smirking again. "It's a good thing most of you have gotten the answers right." he glanced at where Robin used to stand. Then, shaking his head, he turned back to team Howl. "Now then, Michael, True or False-- Lettie pretended to be Martha."

"False," Michael said. "Which means true, which means I'm correct, right?"

"Not exactly," Kyouya answered, "I'm bored, so this is the bonus round where any answer means the opposite of what it's supposed to mean."

"Does that mean I got it wrong?" Michael gulped.

"No, it means I enjoy being in control, so I think I'll just send you to the snake pit," Kyouya replied, smirking.

"I'm confused," Beast Boy said.

"Shut up, please," Kyouya said pleasantly, pressing a button and smirking as the green shapeshifter fell through a trapdoor. Then, completely ignoring Michael, he turned to Raven. "Your turn," He said. "True or false-- Cyborg's power cells are running low right now."

Raven frowned. "I have no idea."

"That's not an answer, that's a statement. True or false?" Kyouya asked again, still smirking.

Raven frowned, glancing at Cyborg and back at Kyouya. "Umm… False."

"Raven, that was the wrong answer," Cyborg moaned, dropping his head in his hands.

"Actually, it was correct, because her answer was false, which normally would be true, but is false because this is the bonus round," Kyouya answered. "The bonus round is now over."

"Aww, my brain's goanna explode!" Cyborg cried.

"Lettie," Kyouya said, turning to Sophie's sister, "True or False-- Sophie is the oldest."

"True," Lettie answered, "Which means false which is true," She finished.

"The bonus round is over, I'm sorry," Kyouya said, sounding anything but. "And Michael, why aren't you in the snake pit?"

"I… um, don't know where it is," Michael answered.

"Too bad for you," Kyouya said, flicking a switch. Trapdoors fell open beneath both Lettie and Michael, who dropped with a shriek.

"You know, I'm rather sick of this. I think I'll call it a day," Kyouya muttered, glancing at the clock. Then, turning to the audience, he smiled once again. "Thanks once again for coming, join us next time for another Unpredictable Game Show, this has been The Truth Hurts, and never will be again, so I hope you enjoyed the show. Good night," He finished, bowing and striding offstage.

The lights flicked off, the audience disappeared, and moments later the contestants were whisked back to their world…


End file.
